Karaoke from Heaven: Redemption for Dante's Inferno: a review

Dante's Inferno in Portland, Oregon hosts Karaoke from Hell every Monday Night. Like Virgil was to Dante, BolaKaraoke will be your guide through the 9 stages of Karaoke from Hell. Just kidding. I can't remember much about the epic poem and really don't like equating one of my favorite karaoke spots to Hell, especially because Dante's Inferno is more like Heaven anyway. Dante's is a bit different from your average karaoke hole. No monitors, no bouncing ball. At DI, singers belt out their fav tunes with the accompaniment of  a live band and a sheet of paper with lyrics on it. Jahoo! Now we have one (and only one) reason NOT to hate Mondays! Allow me to walk you through the 9 circles of Hell Heaven.

• Stage 1 (3 Ms): Making Monday's Manageable! It's only $2.00 at the door and even if you don't sing, you get great entertainment and fun! Please note, if you come too early, you might pay witness to the political rants of the last few open mic-ers. 
• Stage 2 (Good food and drinks!): Top notch pizza and cheap drinks - need I say more?. 
• Stage 3 (Diversity): Yowza! Everybody and their momma will be at Dantes! I literally met a mother and her mom last week! In addition, typical Portland weirdos, industry staff and clean cut frat boys. 
• Stage 4 (Comedy): The band is freakin hilarious and their timing is impeccable. 
• Stage 5 (Talent). Most of the singers are experienced and talented. Those who are not, still have a lot of fun. The band is incredibly talented, making almost everyone feel like a star! 
• (Stage 6) Tip the band!!! At least 5 bucks or you may never sing. 
• Stage 7 (Dance): I always dance at Dante's, makes you feel like you're at a real concert and makes the singers and band feel good too! 
• Stage 8 (Sing a rock song): Rock bands like to play rock music. Forget Brittany Spears for one night and sing Metallica! 
• And the 9th stage of Karaoke from Heaven: Have fun. When will you ever get the chance to sing with a live band? Sing your heart out and don't hold back!

Dante's get's 4.5 stars for putting it's own spin on the art of karaoke!

Note: Dante's lost 1/2 a point for not being wheelchair accessible. Sorry guys!

Boiler Room, boiling hot - a review

The Boiler Room in downtown Portland is one of the city's most classic karaoke spots. It's been around for at least as long as I've been twenty-one and has karaoke 7 days a week, all night long. Its corner, old town location is easily accessible to the spill-over from nearby bars which brings quite a range of 20 and 30 somethings and even a few mid-lifers. Inexpensive beverages and two pool tables compliment the awesome activity that is Boiler Room Karaoke which allows performers to be on the same level as the audience. An audience so close that it's sometimes hard to tell who the singer is.

I happened upon BR just the other night (Wed) and was happily greeted with throw-back K-Jams like "Don't Stop Believin", "Shot to the heart" and "I Will Survive". Seemed typical enough except... You could barely distinguish the voices of the singers. Not because of a crappy sound system, but because the audience (many in the audience) were each singing at the top of their lungs, all the words, to all the songs. So much energy, so much love, so much music. Kind of unreal. For a few hours you felt like you were in the closing scenes of the most magical musical ever! In true musical form, the night ended with "Seasons of Love" (Rent). "Five Hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes!"

Have to give the Boiler Room 5 stars for a boiling hot night of musical karaoke madness and awesome audience participation.

Writing this blog, makes me want to go karaoking right now. Ambassador, here I come!

Before and After: Karaoke Tip the KJ

Mistakenly, karaoke is sometimes portrayed as a sloppy, haphazard hobby for nerdy singles, the socially incapable and drunk college students only interested in drinking Pabst. I would argue that Kah-rah-O-Keh is an art form in which only few will achieve true expertise. For those willing to commit hours of dedication and sweat blood and tears on the stage, I offer the following advice.

1) Tip your KJ. Theoretically, it will increase your singing opportunities, especially on a busy night and maybe push you over the edge in order for you to sing one last (Billy Joel) song. A dollar per song should suffice.

2) Put your drink down. It's not cute to spill your drink on stage or start choking in the middle of a song. Sometimes tequila can give you courage, but drink it before your name is called.

3) Have fun. Seriously, no one expects you to be an amazing singer. Honestly, professionals do not belong at karaoke. As I always say, karaoke is about loving to sing, not about singing well.

4) Having said that (see #3), there is nothing wrong with sounding as good as possible. Pick songs that are in your range. For example, if you have a deep devouring Barry White voice, you're probably not going to do Mariah justice. In this case, consider doing a Gerald Luvert tune or perhaps - Sir Mix-a-lot.

5) Know your crowd. If you sense that the crowd feels like dancing, DO NOT sing Celine Dion. "In the club" by 50 cent will beat out Bette Midler's "From a Distance" everytime.

6) Do not spend all your time looking in the book! If you really want to sing, get your song(s) in by midnight, especially if it's busy. No one will ever get to experience your rendition of "Like a Virgin" if you never get to sing it.

More tips coming up! On Thursday, I'll be at the Ambassador in PDX and Friday at Chronis in the Couv!

Karaoke for life!

BolaKaraoke on the Radio

I'm not afraid to rock the mic - can stare down a crowd of 5 or 500. Yet I am becoming increasingly concerned by my fear of pushing buttons inside the radio station. I have the opportunity and privilege to have my own karaoke radio show as part of the Koug Radio station staff in Vancouver. Yet every time I enter the studio, my knees start to buckle and palms get sweaty. I become flustered and all of sudden I don't know what dials to turn, which mic to speak into. The perfect idea for a radio show "Playing your favorite karaoke songs of today, yesterday and tomorrow," hindered by my inability to fade in and out. I guess Gloria Gaynor was right when she said, "at first I was afraid, I was petrified." I hope she's also correct, when she says, "I will survive."

BK Review: Alibi Karaoke and Tiki Lounge: 4024 N Interstate Ave ** Portland

The dark and dreary, 70s-style tiki lounge would perhaps cause most to walk back out and head for trendier waters. Those willing to take a few more steps past the bar and up the stairs to the back room, would be happily greeted by tipsy, fun-loving, karaoke-heads singing (and screaming) their favorite karaoke tunes. The crowd? Almost 100% 20 and 30 year olds, although their song repitiore would suggest older souls. Barry Manilow, Beach Boys, Peter Gabriel were among the artists who were paid hommage with performances that often included passionate jumping! The KJ (whose name excapes me) was thoroughly enthused as he called performers up to the stage. Later in the evening, he did a throwback to Meat Loaf during a down time. "And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that..." he sang with most of the crowd singing along. Sunday night at the Alibi, I give it a 4 star rating for great atmosphere, great happy hour and a top-notch KJ. A rating less than perfect because I'm not convinced that older singers would enjoy their time and importantly, the karaoke section of the bar is not wheelchair accessible.

Next review: Ambassador Lounge

Singing along to En Vogue

Even after all these years, En Vogue still knows how to rock the house. From their sleek & sequenced black outfits, to their melodic and pure-pitched voices, these four women brought the house down in a small casino-town outside of Portland this past Friday. As I swayed in front of my seat (Section 3, row X, seat 12), I (and 1000 others) sang every word, ad lib and harmony to each of their biggest hits: Free your mind, What a man, Don't let go, My Loving (Never gonna get it), Who's loving you (MJ remake), Hold On, Give it up, turn it lose, Giving him something he can feel. My one complaint - the show was too short. What about Yesterday, Runaway Love, This is your life, every other song on the Funky Divas Album?

I left the concert feeling a little unfulfilled. Oh well. More reason to bypass Mariah, Beyonce, Pink and Ciara and head straight for En Vogue next time I'm at the karaoke hot spot. I hope you'll do the same!